(Song lyrics. No music as of yet.)

There’s a hillside out of Castlegar

And as far as you can see

All the trees are missing

It’s such a tragedy.

 

Some loggers came and took them,

but they’re not the ones to blame

they’re just trying to feed their kiddies

and isn’t it a shame?

 

The company they work for

points to the invisible hand

“We’ve done nothing here illegal

and our profits sure are grand!”

 

Well some folks up at the Chamber

came up with a brainstorm

“We’ll make lemonade with lemons

and make the tourists come!”

 

So they named it.

Named the clearcut.

Called it the Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clearcut!!!

And strangely enough in a fit of self-referential irony Pamela herself came to cut the ribbon

And that photo opportunity meant that another 37.3 acres of trees had to be

Cut down and turned into paper so we could read…..

About the Pamela Anderson Dubious Celebrity Clearcut.

 

I wonder if she gets it

Does she really know

That her dubious celebrity is the cause

Of so many trees to go

 

Into the pulping grinders

And the celebrity bray

That cranks out check stand fodder

At the neighborhood Safeway

 

So if you want to save our forests

The best thing you can do

Is stop buying all those magazines like

Intouch and Wow and You!

​